Hi, it´s been long time since my last journal update, Why? well I just didn´t feel like it.

Today I was angry, really angry, at myself; Now I´m on university and it has been really diferent, but thats not the point... Today I let myself down, We had to do this homework... kinda long one and I just did it because I had to... and actually It came out pretty lame, and i didn´t care untill I saw a friend´s work... He really put an effort in it and as a result his work came out neat.

The teacher told me things about my work, and why wasn´t it so good, "I know" I thought, all those things... and It was all beacause I didn´t give my best, I can be better, I know that for a fact and yet I chose not to...

Once someone told me: "I prefer not give my all, beacause If I do and I fail, If my all isn´t good enough then the failure will be really painful" I understand this words, I understand that it is painfull and sad beacause our all is a failure, we are a failure , but I also think that this attitude is actually cowardly and conformist; that way maybe you can say "well It´s OK I didn´t try hard anyway, I´m not a failure even If a failed" but for me It´s more like "I decided to fail" "I decided to be mediocre"

And I hate that! I want to achieve my goals... I don´t know what happened to me there, and maybe I am overreacting, but today experience make me remeber why I ussually try so hard.

Next time I´ll give my best, so If I fail I can go on without any regrests and the security that I´ll improve.

maybe this journal was a bit long but... still I wanted to write this down so I won´t forget it, and then again, there is nothing wrong with sharing it. What do you think?